Need ideas on pretend work

people keep talking about these made-up office jobs on X where u log in and do nothing and then collect the paycheck. where does one find a job like that? i want to build businesses with a safety net

i've considered NEETing but the money you get is just not enough by design

any ideas?

security guard

People that make money with 1% effort definitely won't tell what they're doing.

Those positions are exclusively for women and browns.

They don't exist anymore. They were common in good times like 2017 - 2020 and then they flourished in 2020-2024 with WFH from COVID but now all the big tech companies are firing useless people and even good valuable

I have one of those jobs. I enjoy doing 30 minutes of work a day and dont plan on helping other people fill these positions.

maybe not bad last resort to look for a comfy one sitting next to screens all day
i dont know ive had indians just tell me how they hack their own company systems to profit off them just for being kind and charismatic with them. also doesnt hurt to try and ask, this thread has already been helpful :)
neither but bills need paying
yeah i missed WFH entirely, i have some savings and a 800 credit score but thats about it

Also to add government was a good place for this as well but Trump / Musk destroyed that as well so they can hire the best workers to clean up after their pajeet army for half the salary and make the others live in squaler.

oh to be clear i am in pajeet occupied territory (Canada) but i'll happily WFH for the US if i can coast lol

people keep talking about these made-up office jobs on X where u log in and do nothing and then collect the paycheck. where does one find a job like that?

They're all over the place, and it's more office jobs than you realize. You're probably accustomed to being a paid by the hour wageslave where everywhere hour you spend on the clock is expected to create a certain dollar value of revenue for the company or else they lose money.

Salaried office jobs aren't usually like that, and are often more project or program based. You work on and perform your specific job for the project/program, and once it's complete you're just kinda hanging out until you're needed again.

I work in supply chain for a defense contractor, and I have periods where I'm super busy because all my work is front loaded on programs then as things progress I have less and less to do. Companies usually have you work on multiple things at once, but you can still easily up with a lot of downtime.

honestly if i got a defense contractor role it'd make me want to actually work because the military aircraft, tank and missile edits brainwashed me

Insurance jobs- you gotta be careful though bc some companies are jew daycares that will micromanage you to death but last year I worked in an office where Id have one busy day a week to close all my deals and id pretty much just field like 10 phone calls a day and scroll or read in the meantime. Consistently was at like 150% of my goal every month and I got fired bc I didnt talk to the unpleasant fat office whores enough so they would constantly snitch on me for slacking off and "stealing time" as if they wouldnt spend half the day gossiping and complaining and being worthless dumb whores

I make more than 3k a week after taxes and I work maybe an hour a week. I will literally never tell you or anyone else what I do for a living because then you would do the job for 2.5k and work two hours a week.

Then apply. It's not that hard to get. Just don't be a druggie or have a criminal record. There are shit tons of defense contractors out there. Go on clearance jobs and look.

You also don't need a security clearance to get jobs that "require" a security clearance. I have a security clearance from the military and it apparently didn't even transfer over because the company has to sponsor a separate one. Also my role doesn't actually need a clearance even though it said it was a requirement in the job description.

Fuck you got mine attitude

Why though? If you actually have a job then you should have no problem telling people what it is. My manager knows I sometimes do nothing at work but that's because there sometimes just isn't much to do until a certain milestone is reached. Why be selfish and not share the secret sauce?

a friend of mine is in insurance, works like a dog m-f. he does like 50 hours a week with a boss he hates.
how about a hint? :)
no criminal record no drugs. i have a weird thing tho, i can completely turn off empathy on command - how hard are those positions to get where you remotely drone strike as air support for ground combat missions? those White House posts about bombing Houthis was inspiring, would be cool if i could do that for Canada (or US if they let me in)

Janitors are supposed to mop, sweep, and clean everyday but I know for a fact they don't, I've caught some sleeping on the job.

i have a lot of respect for janitors because in 2020 i was homeless just camping university for high speed wifi, i made friends with a janitor there and he gave me his super warm winter jacket without me asking. he was working 7 days a week 2 jobs providing for his family and still had it in him to be kind.
i will never forget it, i wish i remembered his name, great guy

neet

i cant get money

no shit that's the point of being a neet
why is everyone so retarded

You made a good thread but you kind of sound like a psychopath and we need fewer not more of those here. Don't come.

they 100% still do but this is that sad truth about them

you're forgetting everyone in the military needs to turn off empathy or nobody ever pulls the trigger on terrorists. its just easier for me to do it on command. in israel they give some soldiers a kitten to raise for a year and then snap its neck to prove they're capable of killing something they cared for. the US has enemies who train in similar ways so i'd think they need people capable of matching or exceeding that. i wish i didn't have it but it's this little thing called 'childhood trauma' that induced it.

i love the US so defending the constitution is a worthwhile cause. if you think im a psychopath you'd want me working for your interests not against them.

You have to be 18 to post here

i saw what happened last 4 years with illegals getting 10k credit cards and luxury hotels in the US. clearly neetmaxxing is the meta if u can find an angle to not starve while building ur business

Y2K baby

Then it's time to stop being an edgy kid trying to look cool to strangers on the internet.

i am fairly apolitical but doesn't this inspire you even a bit the way they all get vaporized? be honest man. they target ships your fellow americans work on. i get inspired and im not even american. 100 of their lives is worth 1 american

yes of course I hate our enemies but the trauma induced psycho thing is a bad look
just a word of advice

noted. won't bring it up on any first dates

how hard are those positions to get where you remotely drone strike as air support for ground combat missions?

I think you're a fucking retard and have no idea what a defense contractor is. Defense contractors are civilian companies who sell products and services to the military. They do not engage in direct offensive action, though many provide various level of direct and indirect operational support.

If you wanna be a drone operator then enlist. But you won't because you're a faggot. Defense Contractors also prefer veterans.

honestly these jobs aren't that good because you still have to share an office with complete assholes
you can't get up and move very much so you sit there and get fat
it's depressing

i use under the desk treadmill already at home so that's not a problem. when it breaks maybe i'll get a stationary bike. i am on top of my health because i dont want to get depressed being a couch potato

working with assholes is nightmareish though yeah although i've had odd jobs that made me enjoy my time just because the work was interesting.

please don't use unnecessary profanities like that. you already know from this thread they don't make me feel anything.

and yeah i have never worked for a defense contractor but a good friend of mine in the US worked in ISR and said it's a revolving door so basically it doesn't matter what u call it.

that said im not hellbent working for in the military industrial complex but i do love america so being a homeland defender with deferred responsibility seems like fun

Marketing. It’s 100% the perfect NEET job if you can handle the stress of justifying your job to the boss every 6 weeks.
I’ve done it for 5 years now and all I do is show up to work and use social media all day. Once you’ve set up good performing advertisements all you do is sit back and make changes and updates every now and then. I work between 3 companies almost every week and work half days. Because of the niche I work in I also get cash payments for work every now and then. I only landed this job because I was good with photoshop and spent most of my teenage years online shitposting and running meme pages. Nobody tells me what to do either because I’m the expert apparently.

Take the digital marketing pill anon. It’s literally a made up industry that has only gotten easier with AI.

Look for government work.
Governmentjobs.com usajobs.gov etc...

These jobs don't actually exist. You're going to actually have to hold a decent amount of responsibility if you want someone to pay you thousands of dollars. Sure the one-off job where you don't do much might be out there somewhere, but it won't be obvious as to where or what it is. There's IT jobs where people just kick back 50%+ of the time, but when SHTF they have to kick it into overdrive and have competence to perform effectively.

those are exactly the jobs DOGE is firing right now
you can still find a remote job in the private sector if it's a call center, which anyone can do, but you're going to be answering 30+ calls a day and it'll suck
or software devops, which yeah you aren't asked to do much, but if an SQL server goes offline or something can you actually resolve the issue

I figure most of these people are just lying to make you feel like an idiot, or that some jobs really do only require a few hours of work and are stretched out simply due to tradition and incompetence

any ideas?

Yeah check out Cashback, I've been shilling my bags here today. Do a test before you invest anything of size into it. It's passive income, nothing too amazing but you'll make your initial back without having to trade at all

solanacashback.com

I figure most of these people are just lying

autists think they're bragging when they claim high pay while not doing anything. it's basically the same as that kid in school who used to brag about high grades without studying. Others have probably adapted to their job well enough and say they don't do anything when in reality they've learned their job well enough to be on autopilot. Usually IT related probably, and they probably have a bachelor's degree with certs, etc. Try to find something adjacent to what your business is going to be - that way you can learn and build simultaneously.