Komm, süsser Tod edition

PUMP GETTING REJECTED

PANICANS BLOWN THE FUCK OUT

This trading shit is easy.

OK WERE PUMPING. FUCK IT, WE BALL. DONALD PUMP

CHECK ID COLOR

TARIFFS
FUCK YEAH
SANCTIONS
FUCK YEAH
REGIME CHANGE
FUCK YEAH
FREE TRADE
fuck yeah

blatantly disrespecting baking etiquette

This is why I just sold and didn’t fucking short

logic would dictate it shouldn't have pumped in the first place

Alright market, whatever you do, do NOT crab.

PLEASE READ MY TRUMP BOOK PLEASE DO NOT CHECK MY EARLY LIFE

what the FUCK is a panican

implying you dont prefer mining to surviving HR

10% of Americans own 90% of the stock market. The next 30% of Americans own 10%. 60% are in debt.

Trump is prioritizing the workers, not the fat freeloaders.

Why is nasdaq green

the stock market only makes sense if you view it as how people FEEL about the economy, not an actual reflection of economic reality

investors and retail boomers are simply incapable of believing that anything will ever actually happen to disrupt the economy, thus the stonks never go down

we're in new fag hell buddy

what's wrong with her eyes

Because the market opened 7 minutes ago and no one’s had to pay $150 for a wadget yet

I want trump for a third term

TRADE WAR IS BULLISH
EU TARIFFS ARE BULLISH
CHINESE TARIFFS ARE BULLISH
BULL WORLD
BULL UNIVERSE
BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY

WHY THE FUCK IS APPLE PUMPING
YOU CAN'T MAKE PROFITS
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I'm confused why is everyone saying green? It's showing -173 for me.

WE ARE SO BACK TSLABROS

Never had an issue with HR in 10+ years of working. I don't think you have either. It's just a boogeyman

how dare you ignore baking rules and traditions! you are literally hitler and a stupid idiot!

SEX WITH THIS CAT

the kids nimble hands yearn for the small screws

the stocks market makes sense if you consider it's the collective of the people. The same people that elected a turbo clown retard.
Thus it makes sense the market behaves like a retarded clown.
How could it be any other way?

she looks like a psychopath you'd have to shoot with a .44 magnum during a road rage encounter after she merges into your passenger mirror with no warning

It's ALWAYS crab

tariff China

win

AAPL

Please I want off this ride

Snibbidy snip snip

Lmao, sound organic moves btw

Five planes of non tariffed phones getting sold at tariffed prices
Apple winning BIGLY

no because that women in the video is alive breathing the same air as us and she works in hr, so HR has a problem

celebration at 10am

Did you guys already forget what happened yesterday kek

THIS is the BIG DUMP?

Am I being trolled? Why is everyone saying green?

erm, t-tariffs good?

tariffs

Be cool, guys.

even if they move it back, they can't just move it back here tomorrow. i lost so much money on this short.

You Fucked up!
You Fucked up!

he keeps this up and the jews are shooting him in the head in 3 months.

this is a real curates egg

it pumped on this

Damage report, how much are (you) down by?

Not instant collapse = bullish, apparently

Look at the S&P, who the fuck even uses DOW these days

be coool panicans
YOU HAVE FUCKED UP NOW

Literal market manipulation to preserve his head lmao

Is this really how a president should speak

what did he mean by this

he's finally trying to pump the markets

pls pump so i can get more puts, ty

Always.

No it pumped because people are panic buying all foreign goods, itll go back down eventually

erm, t-tariffs good?

of course.
picrelated

This actual madness

"I'm not watching the stock market." -- Trump
"Please buy stocks so it doesn't crash." -- Also Trump

this would be funny if it werent so retarded
this market is so fucking fake

/smg/ thinks bear market is just a straight drop

We just lost an entire year worth of gains in a week. There's going to be some greed and shorts closing. Be cool. The thesis of traiffs being shit is unchanged.

Stop selling. Stop selling.

Does wall street even check the news? They didn't get the memo, apparently.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BIG PUMP BIG PUMP!!!

So its just MAGAtard retail buying
They're always wrong about everything though, short.

guys who do a google search to check how the market is doing

tariffs main import partner 100%

tariffs key export partner 80%

bullish

Based moderate opinion

Anon Babble, this is the best entertainment I had watch in years. - Sign A Redditor

That's it bros, I'm gonna ride my bike and forget about this gay market for today.

new trvke

Anon, that ship has sailed

STOP PUMPING

Nevermind it just went to positive 97. I like dow more because it has bigger numbers :)

sex left
sex right
at the same time

mfw a 30 yo twerp starts crying and shitting himself about his 401k going down for the first time in 3 years (don't tell him he's supposed to withdraw only after retiring)

what's chingchong and pingpong gon do?

I'm so cool, I'd never worry about the stocks. I'll start worrying if the bond market starts to go sideways, that's the signal for long-term outlook. So cool.

ohh, nooo! The market is going to dump

I will wait

BVY NOW

YES. GOD EMPERVR

Shit's fucking pornographically obscene at the moment.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!?

What a pussy. China had the balls to just ban short selling, Trump should do the same.

The bottom is falling out soon isn't it

I'm not watching the stock market

Be cool.

This stock price was validated by real MAGA patriots

updooted

I will accept a bearish crab.

hm

Trump trying his best to prevent MAGAsaki

Ships aren't supposed to have their bottoms fall out

DJT up +7%

Retards took his post literally

that's an index, anon.

Kek I forgot about this. -90% from the highs LMAO

it's just a fucking antenna on my screen

THE LINE ONLY GOES UP BAYBEEEEE

Simple. America buys more from China than China buys from America. Their 84% tariff is effectively a 25% tariff, while our 104% is a 204% tariff to them

are people really falling for this again?

trade effectively shut down between chinks and burgers

cant get around vietnam or thailand because 46% and 36% tariff rate

Give it three months of this and the wagies will be in the streets howling for President Jinping to restore their 401k

I wish there was a way to understand stock movements. As in everybody who buys anything completes a survey saying why they bought whatever they did, who they are, their age, level of education... because this makes no sense.

he says this shit while his family is dumping kek

Oblig fuck you faggot

green

boring, ill back in a couple of hours

china announced new tariffs

EU announces tariffs

market pumps anyways

Huh?

yeah this is totally a safe and stable market

JUST THRUST THE FUCKING PLAN

i wonder what the duration of the tariffs will be, days, weeks, months?

blue teto sex

tariffs finally take effect

pumps

I hate this fucking clown market

post tits faggot
or shoe on head if ur a guy

be greedy when others are fearful

Oops! Bulls, you didn’t buy in, did you?

go inverse 3x

wake up and in the hole 15% on one I was up 8% yesterday on and 4% on another.

knew it, I fucking knew it.

It's red again already

Bulls get the cauldron

thanks. buying the top.

Am I to believe that this pump is organic?

SELL SELL SELL SELL

Americans are truly retarded.

W-WHY IS THE MARKET GREEN

PLAN STATUS=TRUSTED

Inflation is bullish for assets prices actually.

we are in fucking clown market on the stock market now

is he actually conspiring with institution's to help them off-load their bags on retail?

Can't wait for Anon Babble to celebrate a +0.5% pump lmao

mfw it's real

Clown world.

The answer's always yes.

Yes

I forgot to shave the tiniest patch of my beard and there's a little spot of hair sticking out that you can't really see but it annoys the shit out of me when I rub my fingers over it

DJI

WHAT GOES UP...

I told you guys, Trusting in Trump is all you need.

Tweezers

THERE WE GO

I don't understand how they still have money after all the scams he's put them through.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The feline bounces are becoming faster.

LINE GO DOWN
I can see it it’s disgusting

Nice rally trump

Mr President, please!

OK this is a cult.

that's why i always check five minutes after shaving.

tell people to buy on twitter while your friends are pressing sell

Im glad all my years in shady crypto telegrams has prepared me for this

Normgroids are actual exit liquidity

consider that a lot of people invest not rationally, but emotionally

i'm reminded of when Trump lost in 2020 and all of the betting sites still had him with a 5% chance to win because a number of retards thought they were making some kind of moral statement or willpowering him to victory by holding long-worthless bags

i suspect a lot of investors will continue to slurp even despite knowing that the real economic activity their investments are based on is headed for decline, just because line go up is their entire identity

He says that after raping the market since he took office and is going to rape even more

this is happening because you antivaxxers refused to get the latest booster

Looks like its gonna crab
Fuck this gay shit

WHY THE FUCK IS SPY MOVING LIKE A MICROCAP SHITCOIN, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MARKET?

oil plummeting again

Going all in on tankers bros.

Tariff chads we won

I'll keep my shorts and you can lick nigger ass, I DON'T CARE, FUCKING DIE

This is a fucking spicy grab though, boku no pico de gallo

Nigga you just saw the biggest dead cat bounce in human history.

grim

(((They))) are crushing everyone who bought puts that expire Friday. They weren't gonna let the goyim make free money that easily.

The U.S. tariffs are impacting 380 billion euros ($420.45 billion) worth of Europe’s exports to the United States, amounting to around 70% of total exports, Sefcovic said during a press briefing.

“To put it in perspective, that’s over 80 billion euros in duties, an eleven-fold jump from the 7 billion [euros] the U.S. currently collects,” he added.

11x wew

I am for it. Just waiting for it to be voted on

We always do, baby

GREAT BULLRUN GOOFY NIGGER RETARDS THAT ALMOST LASTED TEN MINUTES

MOTHERFUCKERS

Is there a good reason for this market to be this fake and gay? EXPLAIN.

so far

trade war intensifies before open

somehow lose money on a short

was i the retard this whole time?

Welcome to Trumpian Amerikkkkkkkka

i'm trying to find the best quotes in the book

yerp the bottom is in

It's already happening

Zoom in

I wonder how much the average MIGAfag has spent of their life savings on this man

THE CHART FLASHING GREEN AND RED GAVE ME A SEIZURE

Everyone excited to get to work on making america great again?

bear markets behave erratic over the short term.

Current admin economic approach is somewhere between herding cats and necromancy.

Kek

That is a beautiful shit unironically, bet it floats a dream

US needs to finance the coming Iran war goyim

turns market into crypto shit feat to prevent market crash

Well played Trump

OH NO NOT JOB OPENINGS THIS IS LE BAD FOR OUR ECONOMY!!!

Want a bite?

Wrong photo, this is the America Trump wants

At this point is there any news that could happen that would trip a circuit breaker? This shit is so absurd that it feels like nukes could fly and the markets would still pump

another mcdonalds logo

you should take the hint anon

Ironically when America did actually have factories, we looked like pic related. It wasn't until we gave every factory to China, that we became obese and brown

There is, actually. The market has no idea how to price in tariffs these large. It knows it's bad, but the past week has been bad -- surely that's enough, right?

The market has reached a point to where it needs to see the effects of tariffs to be able to move further down. It doesn't know how to price in a 104% tariff on China, but it knows how to price in 25% earnings reductions, mass layoffs, factories shutting down, and supply chain failures. As more and more news about that rolls in, those news articles will get priced in, and we'll just bleed over the next couple months.

It's a matter of information. The market needs information it can process.

Satan opinion on current market

well i wish them a lot of fun!!

God this war was KINO.

It's domestic, localized near-entirely within the bedroom of the most divorced man in America.

...collected from American companies

What is it with Europeans and not wanting to work?

I’m alright mate I’ve got a scotch egg

if you're a hedgie theres no reason to just immediately capitulate, especially while theres degrees of uncertainity. you just deny as much as you can for as long as you can, until its impossible to avoid economic truth.

its just a matter of 2-3 weeks (just two weeks) of tariffs before economic effects of tariffs start to become unavoidable, if im a hedgie im not capitulating without giving trump chances to undo his faggot bullshit first.

You guys DARE me to go to to Wendy's and get a breakfast baconator? Haha I'll do it I'm quite daring.

drone warfare should be a war crime. this shit gonna wreck us

Increasing my short positions, I don't want to wage again after this recession

the only people that are going to take those jobs are imported indian immigrants you fucking retarded nigger

WHY ARE WE PUMPING????

I think a decently large portion of the market still thinks this will all get rolled back within like a week and everyone will forget about it.

trying to pump it back up at all costs

I've genuinely never seen a chart look so desperate.

what book is this that anons keep posting?

the US president literally pump and dumping the stock market like if it was shit coin

Where do you guys go to see the market chart live?

How the FUCK is one man allowed to destroy the entire world economy? Where the FUCK is congress?

I'm never going to make any fucking money because no matter what the market does the opposite. Go long? it crashes. Go inverse? it pumps. I'm sure it's my fault but I'm a brainlet who doesn't understand anything other than buy low and sell high which I have never managed to do, most often I struggle to break even.

While you're there, fill out a job application. You'll be one step ahead

Ill show you pumping, gimme that bussy

Reddit faggot

NYSE, we all carpool.

So true, war was so civilized before.

a bit more and I'll buy another 0dte put

Controlled by his supporters

retards buying on opening

gradual slump for the rest of the day

Same as yesterday.

markets irrational

your solvency

Incompatible

WTFWT

cnbc.com/2025/04/09/treasury-secretary-bessent-says-its-main-streets-turn-after-wall-street-grew-wealthier-for-4-decades.html

Trump is going to make a deal with at least Japan before that. I bet it is reset to previous with slightly less tariffs and Japan buys more beef and rice

what's with correct people and not wanting to work?

Yeah this genuinely crypto scam shit, it's not enough to short the top, they are going to extract as much money as humanly possible from slurpers on the way down, absolutely disgusting

Everyone knows it's going to be a clusterfuck but you're right, the banks and other financial institutions can't simply dump billions of dollars without giving their shareholders a rational explanation. Good time for retail investors to get the fuck out. Nobody has an excuse to get caught in the crash when the Jews are giving them so much leeway to get out.

What’s insane is that they’re preventing their own prediction by propping up the market, once the nonMAGA unloads it will fall but until then this will not stop

read the fucking op newfag
thanks for your donation kek

the leader of the free world

I still have a ton of gains this year to bet with because I exited my longs on one of the big bounces

i buyeded SQQQ last night

Without trying to romanticize it I think there are certain moral and social elements of being forced to kill someone by hand if you want to do it. Drone operators get more PTSD than bomber planes but less guilt and grief than on the ground soldiers.
Ultimately the worst effects are on the communities who have to watch them hover over constantly wondering if they’re gonna be struck

He thinks anyone actually LIKES hard work

Say that again from the mines. People are nostalgic about big salaries that used to come with that half a century ago. Guess which half of the equation you are going to get now.

Cheater, don't slow time

Yup, unironically these pumps are just making everything more bearish for the future. It means a policy reversal is less likely, tariffs become entrenched.

Over 5000

Apologize

you'd think if that's the case they'd stay neutral. they must be strongly leaning toward the dispute to be settled if they pumped it.

I like hard and meaningful work

t drug dev about to get fired

isn't the number 1 most desired job by children and teens in america to be a youtuber/influencer? im sure they will all be thrilled they have to work in the coal mines. also who the fuck WANTS to wagecuck?

They're lazy. That's it. There is nothing deeper other than, they just don't want to work.

nnnnooooooOOOOOOO IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN FOREVER

it's just one guy(me)
book is fire and fury, you can read it here
archive.org/details/fire-and-fury-in-the-trump-white-house-by-michael-wolf

This reeks of market manipulation, someone has an in.

DESTRUCTION OF DOLLAR BASED WORLD ECONOMY PRICED IN

I'm out
Just gonna watch this shitshow from the sidelines

This is manipulation

Bulls celebrating being over 5000 now

yeah but i mean the problem is the 100 percent tariff on the biggest importer by far to the us. even if that remains the single only tariff (which its unlikely), that alone is enough to cause massive damage to the economy. i mean look at apple, how much they rely on china. they're still above last years price. there's no way that factors in a month of fucking retard tariffs.

HELLO MISS OVER FIVE THOUSAND

zoom out

Okay retard

Trump says ‘BE COOL! ... THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO BUY!!!’

PUMP IT

Isn't that literally illegal

Teh most popular game and movie right now is called Minecraft you dumb faggot. The children yearn for the mines.

meant for him the book here
archive.org/details/fire-and-fury-in-the-trump-white-house-by-michael-wolf
this one is not me btw name on the book pls?

Reminder to buy VIX for later today

lol

Anyone want to slap penises together until one of us cries like a little girl? The loser has to sing the Spartan national anthem with the other person's penis in their mouth. A true spartan duel.

what the fuck is illegal when you're the president lol? Who's gonna stop him from doing it

I bought some coffee today, he was right. Based Trump.

Musk was doing this for years.

why?

nothing is illegal when you are the one who enforces the laws

you're not the only one. i lost a ton of cash on what i thought was a sure thing apple short.

youtu.be/dMt8qCl5fPk

Trump pumping the market again so he can short it

WHO IN GODS NAME IS SLURPING

Lmao this has gotta be the most anxious pump I have ever seen

Literally all musk did

The game about building your house from fruits of your labor

I call escapism

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Because it’s going to get extremely fucking volatile when boomers who read the tweet run out of money

Call me when the s&p is back over 6000

I'll be real with you guys, these market dynamics don't really fill me with confidence in the US economy

I give up

that game looks so relaxing to me right now

greedy lil bois

Ur mom

Dumpster fire.

Will he be indicted by Congress? No? Then it doesn't fucking matter. "OFFICIAL DUTY OF OFFICE IMMUNITY".
Dude's out there saying 'States are just Agents of the Federal Governments'. That's right. Abolish state's rights.

go back tourist

Shit's fucked

braindead miga turds

then they're retarded. i dont see how trump is possibly going to negotiate with china in the short-term, at least not within this week, and every single day of tariffs is just a death counter.

LIQUIDITY CRISIS INCOMING

It’s high you reatr what more do you want

all those people with short positions getting screwed over by a single tweet again

pottery, this market is not healthy at all

I watched the movie in theaters and at the end jack black willingly returns to the real world. If I had a portal to a world where my labors had instant payoffs and I could own all the property I want I would never leave

There’s going to be people waking up all day seeing the trump tweets and pumping btw

Cramer-sama I inverted you. Please deliver my gains.

Market shouldnt be green. You are all fucking retarded.

WE ARE PUMPING WOOOHOOO

If this retard ever says no more tariffs this shit is literally going to 10x. it's been non-stop negative news and people are still just buying like crazy

This is the markets after nothing but bad news all day. Imagine if there was actual good news. It would pump 10 percent plus

Retail investors were a mistake

You're welcome, main street

And the big people are letting it pump until they want to short, if anyone is even left to do that

Oh and sycophants are backing this 'glorious intelligent play' of the whole agents of the government thing by saying 'well if global tariffs are so good, why can't we do INTERSTATE TARIFFS'.
I'm calling it. We're not going to find a bottom because *there isn't* a bottom.

Short sellers are the unhealthy ones. Retail slurpers will inherit the earth.

expecting a sane economy

after covid

lol

The bot traders don't know fear, they only react.

im thinking of buying calls now

WHY THE FUCK IS SP PUMPING

market is waiting for good news so it can instantly drop 7%

Kill yourself

top kek

The market is whatever investors want it to be retard. If they all decide it's green, it's green.

Your little nigger baby voodoo means nothing to our imaginary lines. Understand little nigger boy?

slight rally because of NA

self reflection

back to dumping

meanwhile the shit and piss index keeps going up

Don’t be a pussy

t not buying shit sitting on cash

But Trump said he wants to annihilate the stock markets and hang every last trader. That's a bullish as it gets in Trumps clown market

i dont see it either. but i lost money today so i'm the retard. there's something i missed here.

Quads dont lie

new bread

then we will teach them fear.

Slurping in Switzerland may be a good deal desu

VR has tons of hidden gems, It's a shame it never took off.

It's not. NQ can't even reach the weekly Vwap. This ''''rally''' is absolutely feeble.

personally im betting on tariffs fucking the economy, because i dont want it to happen. if i lose money, im not upset because i dont thousands of small businesses to go out of business.

i would prefer if trump tweeted today "haha just kidding". but its just all coping and posturing until he does, and no one, not even his butt buddy musk seems to have any idea of what he will do.

sounds straight, i'm in

We're green. Bears, as always BTFO. When will they learn

Today's lesson: Japan day market and US pre-market don't tell us fuck all about US day market